The Struggle is Real

Hello people of the world, Krissy here with another blog post. 

Depression is a real and serious issue that affects many people. It can be difficult to deal with and it can make even the simplest tasks seem impossible. I know this from personal experience and I want to share my story with you.

Last week, I was hit with a wave of depression. It was a struggle to do anything. I didn't want to work, draw, or clean. All I wanted to do was lie in my bed and do nothing. But, at the same time, I hated feeling so unproductive. I had a goal to finish my book Five Star's Princesses and I had made it so far. I was on page 137 and my goal was to reach 200. Depression got in the way and I had to put it on pause.

But, I realized that I wasn't alone in this struggle. Many people deal with depression and it can be difficult to face. However, it's important to remember that there are ways to cope and overcome it. Talking to a therapist, practicing self-care, and finding a support system are just a few ways to help manage depression.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support hotline for help. You don't have to face it alone.

Me out of the water

Depression is a serious mental illness that affects millions of people worldwide. It's often described as feeling like broken limbs, where simple tasks become overwhelming and all you want to do is stay in bed. As a mother, dealing with depression can be especially challenging, as you still have to care for your children and maintain a sense of normalcy.

My first encounter with depression was when a family member was going through a rough time. I didn't quite understand why they were acting the way they were, but as I got older, I realized how debilitating depression can be. It wasn't until I served my mission for my church that I had a deeper understanding of depression.

My mission companion had a medical case of depression and had to take medication for it. She was an amazing person, but her depression made it difficult for her to work with me. As part of our role as missionaries, we had to be sight and sound with our companion at all times, which made it challenging when she would turn off and not work with me. Eventually, it became so bad that I had to send her home, which was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

Depression is not something that can be easily understood or fixed. It's a complex illness that requires patience, compassion, and understanding. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, don't be afraid to seek help. There are many resources available, including therapy, medication, and support groups. Remember, you're not alone, and it's okay to ask for help.

I drew her before she went home. She loved it.

I didn't understand why, but as time goes I do now. It's hard to be in that state and function like a human being. It's also like being physically sick, but it's mental. Your brain is broken and needs time to heal. I'm no doctor but from my experiences, this is what it feels like. 

For those that don't know, or I have no idea if I ever mentioned, I went through a divorce in 2020, right before COVID-19 happened, I wanted the divorce for many reasons, but the main reason is that I was in a really dark place. I didn't know who I was and knew I would kick the bucket if I stayed any longer.

In therapy, I had an experience where I looked back on the darkest times of my life and saw my past self lying on my bed and demons dancing around me. When I saw this from my present self I was shocked at how deadly I looked and wanted to help her.

Another imaginary self-saving myself from a bad situation. It helped me draw these pictures during my healing process.

Giving all of my anxiety and fears in a bottle and giving it to my savior.

This is how I see myself now, a goddess with pure faith and protection.

When I left him it took a lot of courage to seek therapy and to work through the pain I'd experienced. I'm glad that I did, for I was able to find myself again and feel happy and free. 

It's important to acknowledge that healing is not a linear process and that triggers or stressors can set us back. It's okay to not be okay sometimes and to ask for help when needed. 

For anyone who is going through a similar experience, please know that you are not alone. It's okay to seek help and to take the time you need to heal. There are resources available and people who care and want to support you.

Remember to be kind to yourself and to practice self-care. It's not an easy journey, but it's worth it. And know that there is no shame in asking for help. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life.

How I felt before the divorce.

How I felt after the divorce.

I am working on myself, writing this post has helped me to remember who I am and who I want to be, and try to be better. I can do it. You can do it. Thanks for reading, have a good day.