I have written another song called Meadow Lark. The reason for this name is because meadowlarks is a favorite bird in my family, it has something that we love since we lived in a desert we would always get to hear them every summer morning and we would love that.
As I was writing this song I was trying to do my rhyming skills (which isn't the best) and dark and lark hymns so...I put meadowlark after dark and I decided that the meadowlark represents my savior lord and king. For those that are religious like me, it can also represent someone special to you that may have helped you out of the dark for I know that dark place...it may not be the same dark place as you but for it was dark, confused, depressed, and conflicted with everything.
But I think everyone either has been there or will eventually, for I never understood depression until I had postpartum depression, which felt like I was in a hole and couldn't get myself out, it also felt like I had a dragon that's blowing fire all the time. I was angry and was just pushing everyone away, yelling and destroying everything.
I just had an add experience about life, like the meaning of life, what's my purpose here, why are we here that kind of thing and I'm sure you have thought about that too and I had the answers in the scriptures but for some reason I still questioned it and just couldn't get out of it.
I was at work and was feeling pretty good and then the lyrics came to me, life is so great that I'm happy to be alive, life is so depressing that I want to die...for I was in the middle. I didn't want to die but it was hard to be alive do you know what I mean?
I have suffered someone that committed suicide and I remember how I felt right away, I was in denial at first but when I saw her lifeless I was in shock, felt numb, and kept telling myself that I wish I could of having done more for her for she was suffering and have made many attempts to kill herself before. What I saw more is how angry I was at her, for I felt like she was being so selfish not thinking how this would affect her mom and her family, I saw nothing but grief on them and couldn't understand why she would hurt them like that. But I have gotten over it and understand that life is just too hard to keep going, but to leave and have your family suffer like they did I couldn't do that for my family, I just couldn't that would probably make me feel like I was in suffering (like Hell) in heaven, I wouldn't enjoy peace, I would suffer.
So yeah in this video I sing the song Meadow Lark and I hope it will uplift you as it did for me. Finding the peaceful Meadowlark that will guide us out of the dark. (Go towards the end of the video, the beginning part just me talking about how I'm almost done with this book) which I am, I am so close getting my first book of Sweet and Sour done! It's taking me two years to do...wow.
Meadow Lark
chorus:
Life is so great that I'm happy to be alive.
Life is so depressing that I want to die.
To cry then die.
1 verse
Moments of learning is so stressing
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth of living
do you know what I mean?
Who am I supposed to be?
2 verse
The rich and the poor are always going to be beggers
unless we find a way to help each other
singing together in harmony
getting that happiness we need
3 verse
fear God but don't fear God
Have faith do not faint
Love me not bee stings
Eat cheesecake lose that weight
I know your pain
it is not lame
I've been in that dark
Until my Meadowlark
shown me the way
last chorus:
Life is so great that I am happy to be alive
but life can be so depressing it's ok to cry
Sometimes the only thing you can do is breath
Sometimes it can be too painful to breath
just breath just breath
This is a loving memory of someone that was loved by many is now in heaven probably being a missionary to many.
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