Talk about Nothing

I am tired, my depression makes me more tired so I am trying exercising and drinking Spinach Smoothies, I hear spinach has iron in them so the more iron I have the more awake I'll be...at least that's what I've heard.

Taking care of two kids can be hard, and working on my book. Whenever my toddler cries I just give her my phone to watch shows and if my baby cries I just hold her in one hand while drawing with the other hand. It's tricky but it works. I want to finish my story but it will take some more time since I'm dealing with this depression.

I have done another Youtube video, it's short and not that great, I just wanted to do an intro of myself a little and wanted to a quick animation to improve my skills, that's really it, but I do like how I did the background, it looks pretty to me.

At this moment my baby is crying, now typing and holding a baby is even trickier so I'm just going to end this post here and hopefully do another post soon.

Mitsuki Character

So depression is tough, today I manage to do one page but that's it...along with coloring some pictures and decided to do one about Izumi's Aunt, Mitsuki. She was the one that took Joy without hesitation, she has a kind heart and always willing to help. Which by the way annoys Izumi, but Izumi is a teenager so it's like what-eves.

Aunt Mitsuki decided to call Joy Kisa, since they don't know her real name, and Kisa was a name that she named her first daughter. Her first daughter died after birth, she had a  heart condition that couldn't be healed so she died. Kisa, however, became a Mist, and if you know what a Mist is for my story then great, if not well Mist are angels that don't influence you to do bad or good. In this case, Kisa just hangs around Mitsuki because she loves her mother and sometimes Mitsuki can feel her presence so her religion is still alive.

So the picture I drew was Mitsuki walking home from the groceries store and next to her is Kisa as a Mist. And if you look closely at the picture there are some easter eggs, haha if you can see them let me know if not I'll just tell you that Nonny Whitney and Tutu are in the picture, along with the name Flanngy.

Can you see the Easter Eggs?

Aunt Mitsuki was never in the original story, I created her this time around because I feel Izumi should be living with a family member after her mother abanded her. Aunt Mitsuki is Izumi mother sister, Izumi mother name was Megumi, we don't ever know what happens to Megumi after Mitsuki took Izumi, but Mitsuki treats Izumi as if he was her own child and she is happy to do so. After losing Kisa she was a wreck but feels like Izumi is filling that hole since Izumi was only five when Megumi decided to leave him.

When Joy came around and calling her Kisa she has filled with joy again, because of her toddler ways it seems to brighten her day more than Izumi sour attitude. But Izumi has a bad case of being a teenager, once the story ends he ends up being the best man in town and everyone loves him. 

Mitsuki loves Izumi, Izumi does too but doesn't say it. I hope you will enjoy Mitsuki in the story as much as I have, she was missing in this story and glad to add her in. I love her look, she's only 45 years of age which isn't too old or young and works as a teacher at Izumi school. Izumi is too embarrassed to see her so she always makes sure she embarrasses him at school haha. 

I'm creating another Youtube video and hope to have it up and running soon.

My first attempt doing a tutorial on YouTube

so I have a bad case of depression, postpartum depression, I was so mad on one day and I just ran off late at night without anyone knowing. My poor hubby was worried sick he did find me I was at the park close to our place and he was calm and trying to understand. I didn’t abandon my baby, I took her with me wrapped her two blankets to keep her warm, I was so full of anger that it exploded in a way  that I couldn’t stand being home anymore, once I calm my hubby took me home and tried giving me a break from the kids as much as he can.

I try focusing on my book but I just can’t so I’m focusing on writing ideas and doing YouTubing for now, it seems to relax me to sketch but not all the time, I try exercising as much as I can to reduce the depression. The thing is after having a C-section it's still healing so I can't do hard workouts just yet.

I have done a video of my attempt doing a tutorial, it ended up not a tutorial more like showing off my books haha. It's on Youtube look for  K Productions 3.0.

I have decided to put my Imogen Tale as well, I don't know if you could watch it in my other post, http://flanngyslastdraw.blogspot.com/2018/09/imogen-tale.html but here now you can.

I'll get back on my feet again soon, and work on my book. I just dealing with a hard depression right now and if you have ever had Postpartum depression or any other kinds of depression then you should know how hard it is to function.

C.A.P.D

https://youtu.be/m5tggbHOnjY

Hey, so I have made another Youtube video about my hearing disorder. I hope you understand this disorder and how it can be hard for those that have it.

Anyways, my postpartum depression has gotten worse, so I am taking my time to draw, I only have done one-page last week and these videos. I have been tired and frustrated, I think it's part of my depression I'm dealing with.

I think that's all I got to say for this post, give my video a like on youtube and Subscribe me, K Productions 3.0.

Drake

Oh goodness, so I have reached my limit.

I was doing so good, cleaning, drawing, doing my goals, taking care of my kids, but I have noticed little by little last week that I get this burst of frustration at nothing and then Sunday I totally broke. I was crying all day long and feeling so frustrated at everything, everyone and myself. Do you know what that is? Postpartum depression.

I had it with my first child too but I thought it was because of the lack of sleep for she would never sleep, my second child sleeps great I've been great at night, I get three hours straight then feed her and she goes right back to sleep, I don't need to get her to sleep which is great it might not last long.

So I don't understand why I have this depression but I'm pretty sure I do and it's giving me a huge headache.

I manage to do three pages in Sweet and Sour last week which is great cause I have no desire to do it today or tomorrow, I need a small break or something for I am going crazy. I still love my kids.

So I haven't explained who Drake is, he is one of the main characters in the story, he helps with Lark finding the memories for Joy, but it was his fault in the first place that they had to do that. He claims he "accidentally" got Joy thru the Pre-Mortal door that made her go to earth losing all of her memories, but really he purposely did it for he is on Destiny side but no one knows that all they know that he is a Savior and is doing good things.

Truth is he also had a rough life on earth and when he died he wanted to be good so he worked hard to become a Savior but still has that pain from his past in him, so when he met Destiny and what she thinks it should be he agreed with her and secretly been working for her.

That's all I'm going to say about him, he is a clever guy and is my favorite character. His hair is tough to draw but I love his hot look. His original name was Dick, but growing up having people read it telling me how Dick is a bad name and such I was annoyed and embarrassed had to change his name. But there are people out there still with the name Dick, so don't make fun of them.

Is he charming looking?

Music in my life

I'm sure that I'm not only one agrees with this, but isn't music the best? Listening playing to music makes fireworks in your head and makes you want to sing or dance.

I love music, growing up I always listen to my mom playing the piano or singing in the shower and pretty much all of my siblings have a music talent, except my dad.

I have taken piano lessons when I was eight years old up till I was ten for I got tired of it but when I was thirteen I started playing it again (not taken lessons) and started making my own songs on it. I did take guitar lessons when I was 15 till I graduated high school and that I didn't mind so much I started liking playing an instrument by then.

My singing voice isn't so great though, I tried getting free lessons from my mom whenever we are in the car going places but that didn't last long either. I have a quiet voice and can't seem to overcome that quietness, for I have recorded with people before for a CD (it was for Mother days, they were just hymns) and the guy that own the recording equipment kept telling me to sing louder and just sing, and I tried but I think I kept getting choked for I was so nervous.

I would like to record my music and get it published, but I have no idea when that will be.

I would play on my families piano for hours just making up tunes, and it got to the point where my neighbor had a keyboard that she never uses and let me borrow it. I was playing on it for hours also in my bedroom, it was a stress reliever on bad days and I got better at playing the piano even though I can't read music.

I got my own guitar and name him Walcome on my 16th birthday and got my own keyboard (I gave back my neighbors keyboard after having it for three years) for Christmas when I was nineteen, I love her, her name is Harper. I'm not terribly good at playing the piano but I was given the opportunity to learn some hymns on it for my church asked me to be the piano player for my Sunday School class, it was hard but I manage.

I hope one day to share my music but right now I'm focusing on my book Sweet and Sour and such, I still play the piano and guitar here and there but not as often as I use too.

If I ever did a record I'll probably would make like four albums already, and here what their titles would be.

Dark

1. Test 
2. Ghost
3. Dark
4. Sunflower
5. Mattress
6. Dawn
7. Hiding in the Dark
8. Unspoken Pain
9. Shadow
10. Cry
11. Closet
12. Patience 
13. Wake Up

Welcome Goodbye

1. Welcome (Yo-Yo)
2. Frozen
3. Clocks
4. Big Fight
5. Lazy
6. Yellow Moon
7. Ew
8. Winning Prize
9. Pretty or Scary
10. In the Pass
11. Glue Heart Pieces
12. Nervous 
13. Empty Heart

The Leaf

1. My Leaf
2. Release Me
3. Lesson Always Learn
4. Alone
5. Big Fat Bruise
6. Hourglass
7. Snowflake
8. Wall
9. Um
10. Crystal Clear
11. Lies
12. Triangle 
13. Lullaby to my Unborn

Little Fire

1. Aiden 
2. A Child Story
3. Take a Picture
4. Pretty Boy
5. Ha!
6. Car
7. Hard Job
8. Fake Smiles
9. Broken Knee
10. No Matter What Side
11. Teeth
12. Dust
13. Mysterious

Now that's not all of the songs I have made, just the best ones I have created. 

I decided to quickly draw this, this is the idea cover I want for The Leaf album, from the inspiration of my song My Leaf, I don't know if I should share the song for I don't want it to get stolen but I'll share it for it's short and hopefully no one will take it.

My Leaf

Fist Verse

My Leaf grew from this tree

I blew a kiss away

for you for me

for you for me

second verse

Explore the world with sweet honey

come back feeling empty

for you for me

for you for me

Thrid Verse 

Lets all die with full of hearts

and not broken burns

for you for me

for you for me 

For you for me

for you for me 

x2

Fourth Verse

we have lost all of our gold

but don't you worry we 

still have each other

For you for me

for you for me

x2

end

I might record myself this song and show you how good I am on the piano ha, just please don't steal my poem, song, whatever.

I have done another comic by the way on facebook called K Productions check out the other stuff I do on there. 

Fulfilling My Dreams

Hey, first of all, I manage to do another 20-second animation, you can see it here on this link or go to Youtube and find the youtube channel called K Productions and click on Blind Man

https://youtu.be/0SLjK5OKHxk

That took me about two days to do and why it took me only two days was because that's all I did, I spent all of my spare time doing that little animation. The reason why the first one I did took me longer (it took me months) was because I was learning how to do it, the animation software I have is a little complicated. I had to watch tutorials on Youtube for the longest time to figure it out, I respect those that are animators it is hard work. 

Well, I knew it would be hard I just didn't think it would that hard. I'm sure I'll get the hang in it the more I do it. 

I've been wanting to do a youtube channel for a long time now, ever since I was introduced to Youtube I wanted to make videos for it. I was like 10 or 11 when I discovered it, watching anime all day long or all night. I did try making music videos with my sisters for it but I had to make them private for my parents got scared about it so that's what I did which is too bad they are good videos and they are still on my old channel, I just too scared to change the settings for my parents sake but I think I might change that. 

Youtube was banned in our home for a long while for Youtube can be full of bad influences, but it was really rough for me cause I was watching my favorite anime shows and when I couldn't I had to buy them which is hard for a thirteen-year-old for I didn't have money. I had to watch other things which for an anime fan was rough. (We didn't have the channels either on our TV).

But now that I'm an adult being a Youtube wasn't a thing for me until after I had my first child. I was having depression and was bored during the days, it seems like the time would stand still and I was going crazy, and then my brother showed me a funny animation on Youtube and I watch it over and over and over again it made me laugh and wish that was something I could be doing. And then I became addicted to Youtube again when my little sister showed me a gamer on YouTube playing horror games, (And then that's when I discovered I really like horror stuff, I have always loved scary movies and Halloween it just didn't hit me until I watch this gamer.) 

I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you who the gamer was or the animation was but the point is I watch the gamer play horror games until I fall asleep and I love it. 

With the animation video, I wanted to do that but didn't know how for I'm broke, can't afford things like a proper laptop and a tablet. I was getting more depressed and wasn't motivated to do stuff to get it. I couldn't get a job for then I had to find a babysitter, and I wanted a job for I was done being home doing nothing. 

My little sister got me a small tablet for my birthday and I was all over it, it took me a long time to figure it out for it's different than paper and a pencil. I was figuring out how to draw on Medibang, trying to see if I can do my books, I was working on Flower in the Dust (I had a friend that scan the original pages in and I was just fixing them on Medibang) and I was doing an animation with Paint and Windows Movie Maker, it took a slow process for what I did was I drew each frame on Paint and put them the Moviemaker and got far on doing it, but the tablet only lasted for a few months, it stopped working and people tell me to update it I tried and tried but nothing. I was using my little sister laptop (For mine is so old it would overheat and die) and my sister is on her mission, and I thought by the time she will come back I will have my own somehow and give her back, but after trying so many attempts to update the tablet I gave up. 

That was really disappointing to me at that time, for those few months working on my story and animation I felt great, I felt my body getting a life again, kind like not eating for a long time and once you finally get food you feel so refresh and can live again, it was that feeling. Once it was broken and I couldn't fix it I was back to depression. 

I love my child do not  think I don't, I have an eternal love for her, but being a mom was harder than I thought and all growing up I knew I was going to be a mom and I wanted to be, but I also wanted to be something bigger, I wanted to publish my work and such but it wasn't happening. And at this point in my life, I really felt like it was never going to happen, I gave up drawing and music, I never wanted to do it again for my dream was crushed. 

I had a little hope when my big brother said he can give me his old Tablet Wacom for he has a new one...but after days, weeks, months, a year it never happened. I would keep asking him about it and he said he will but it never happened, so that did break my dreams too. 

Then it happened...my best friend Beth (we will call her) she made it possible. She is the one that has published her books and still doing so, I was the one that inspired her to do manga and she is fulfilling that dream. She was upset when she found out my tablet wasn't working anymore and I tried everything to make it work again, she hired me to color the front covers of her books and when my tablet broke she was not allowing that she needed me. So for my Christmas/birthday present, she got me one. A nice bigger tablet. 

I can't tell you how full of joy I was when I got it and manage to get a better laptop for free, it's another used laptop but it works better than that other one I had and I don't want to use my little sister laptop again for a reason.

I was all over on it, I name him Steve. Got back into drawing and felt life coming back again, but instead doing Flower in the Dust I want to do something else as a test trial and make it a short story and decided to do a story that I did when I was 14 years old, Sweet and Sour. So that's what I'm doing, I have re-wrote the story and am now doing it and doing this blog along the way. And when my sister got me an animation studio software I'm now doing YouTube videos.  

I'm fulfilling my dreams and have two kids now and don't feel depressed about it, I love my kids I'm so grateful for them in my life and for my husband who is trying to support in this too. He always tells me "go work on your story I'll clean up" or watch the girls and such, he is the love of my life.

I feel now I have to post a picture each time I do a blog post, this post was a little long but I hope it will inspire you to do your dreams. 

Izumi

Oh my goodness it's been a while, and it's funny cause all day all I wanted to do was to do my blog but I got carried away with my project of animation. I have done another animation short video that will be on youtube soon, my head is going to explode.

I have done a lot, I did do two pages last week if I haven't mentioned that, it's Friday and I have done one page this week working on number two. I'm doing really good I'm like on a role. My baby is started to be more awake than asleep already and it is making me nervous cause when she is awake all she wants is to be held, well most of the time she doesn't like to be in her bed. My toddler is warming up to her which is great, she is helping her when she cries which is super great but sometimes she can be rough with her which isn't so good.

I have done some pictures of Izumi and Joy together, I don't know if you know Izumi, he is one of the main characters in my story, he is the one that finds Joy and takes care of her, of course, he didn't want to at first he had a sour attitude about it, but at the end he falls in love with her.

This is a sweet picture of them together. I love how I did the background don't you?

Izumi allowing her to play video games which is a thing in the story for Joy acts like a toddler so he had no desire to let her touch his video games, but in this picture is he letting her and is actually smiling about it.

This is a good picture of Izumi, Izumi is blind in one eye so that's why they look different. How he got the blind eye? I guess I can tell you now about it.

His mother Megumi become a single parent when her husband decided he doesn't like kids, and it was all on her shoulders to take care of Izumi and paying for food rent and such. One night the husband was trying to come back and she allows him but found out how he was abusing her child Izumi so she tried kicking him out but he abuses her and once he finally left for good she was possessed by a devil and couldn't take it anymore. She hurt Izumi and made him blind in one eye, and then she left him all by himself. 

Izumi being a brave boy left his home and went to the neighbors for help, and that's where he was in custom to his aunt Mitsuki, Mitsuki was Megumi's sister, and no one knows what happened to Megumi after that.

Susi, the angel that helps Lark she has bright orange hair, she was trying to save Megumi from the devil but failed. So now Izumi is with his aunt and when Joy came Mitsuki made sure they took care of her too.

So yeah that's his story it's also sad like Imogen's but we must have hard times to find the good times. I know I have hard times, I have been depressed and been bullied in school, and my hard trail is my disorder I have. It's a hearing disorder we will say. 

Anyways I have done another comic also of Nonny Whitney and Tutu, you can check them out on facebook called K Productions.

Youtube

From making comics I have done an animation, it's super short and pathetic but its a good practice took me two months to do and hope to do more in the future.

https://youtu.be/EYOPu2nnUqA

Here's a comic also that I've done recently 

Threadless

So another week has past and I did do TWO PAGES of my story, whoo hoo! I feel so accomplished, having my new baby hasn't stopped me doing this book which is good. I hope you guys liked the Imogen story, it's sad but for good reason of the story.

So this week I am going to do another two pages, I wanted to see if I can exercise and all I did was stretching this morning...I'm not ready for any exercising still, from having a C-section I am still sore in the inside, so it looks like I have to wait until the six week which is in three more weeks.

So I have mentioned about threadless before, I shared the cancer one before, anyways I have been more involved in it and made my own store. If you're interested in my art buy my shirts! There are only a few right now but will load up more eventually.


https://krissycomicmedia.threadless.com/


so far here are what's at my store

If there's a T-shirt idea you have for me to do I would love to try. Or not. 

Imogen Tale

Ok, here it is Imogen story of how she died and how she overcomes her revenge for she was murdered. I hope this story makes sense, I did wrote it out and sketch it in my sketchbook, but did get sloppy at the end so here we go.

let's hope this video works, you can watch me read the story, but if the video doesn't work then you can read it down below.

That's Imogen story, now once I get Sweet and Sour done you will know her background story and such, there's another video that's just the original recording if you can try to watch.