That took me about two days to do and why it took me only two days was because that's all I did, I spent all of my spare time doing that little animation. The reason why the first one I did took me longer (it took me months) was because I was learning how to do it, the animation software I have is a little complicated. I had to watch tutorials on Youtube for the longest time to figure it out, I respect those that are animators it is hard work.
Well, I knew it would be hard I just didn't think it would that hard. I'm sure I'll get the hang in it the more I do it.
I've been wanting to do a youtube channel for a long time now, ever since I was introduced to Youtube I wanted to make videos for it. I was like 10 or 11 when I discovered it, watching anime all day long or all night. I did try making music videos with my sisters for it but I had to make them private for my parents got scared about it so that's what I did which is too bad they are good videos and they are still on my old channel, I just too scared to change the settings for my parents sake but I think I might change that.
Youtube was banned in our home for a long while for Youtube can be full of bad influences, but it was really rough for me cause I was watching my favorite anime shows and when I couldn't I had to buy them which is hard for a thirteen-year-old for I didn't have money. I had to watch other things which for an anime fan was rough. (We didn't have the channels either on our TV).
But now that I'm an adult being a Youtube wasn't a thing for me until after I had my first child. I was having depression and was bored during the days, it seems like the time would stand still and I was going crazy, and then my brother showed me a funny animation on Youtube and I watch it over and over and over again it made me laugh and wish that was something I could be doing. And then I became addicted to Youtube again when my little sister showed me a gamer on YouTube playing horror games, (And then that's when I discovered I really like horror stuff, I have always loved scary movies and Halloween it just didn't hit me until I watch this gamer.)
I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you who the gamer was or the animation was but the point is I watch the gamer play horror games until I fall asleep and I love it.
With the animation video, I wanted to do that but didn't know how for I'm broke, can't afford things like a proper laptop and a tablet. I was getting more depressed and wasn't motivated to do stuff to get it. I couldn't get a job for then I had to find a babysitter, and I wanted a job for I was done being home doing nothing.
My little sister got me a small tablet for my birthday and I was all over it, it took me a long time to figure it out for it's different than paper and a pencil. I was figuring out how to draw on Medibang, trying to see if I can do my books, I was working on Flower in the Dust (I had a friend that scan the original pages in and I was just fixing them on Medibang) and I was doing an animation with Paint and Windows Movie Maker, it took a slow process for what I did was I drew each frame on Paint and put them the Moviemaker and got far on doing it, but the tablet only lasted for a few months, it stopped working and people tell me to update it I tried and tried but nothing. I was using my little sister laptop (For mine is so old it would overheat and die) and my sister is on her mission, and I thought by the time she will come back I will have my own somehow and give her back, but after trying so many attempts to update the tablet I gave up.
That was really disappointing to me at that time, for those few months working on my story and animation I felt great, I felt my body getting a life again, kind like not eating for a long time and once you finally get food you feel so refresh and can live again, it was that feeling. Once it was broken and I couldn't fix it I was back to depression.
I love my child do not think I don't, I have an eternal love for her, but being a mom was harder than I thought and all growing up I knew I was going to be a mom and I wanted to be, but I also wanted to be something bigger, I wanted to publish my work and such but it wasn't happening. And at this point in my life, I really felt like it was never going to happen, I gave up drawing and music, I never wanted to do it again for my dream was crushed.
I had a little hope when my big brother said he can give me his old Tablet Wacom for he has a new one...but after days, weeks, months, a year it never happened. I would keep asking him about it and he said he will but it never happened, so that did break my dreams too.
Then it happened...my best friend Beth (we will call her) she made it possible. She is the one that has published her books and still doing so, I was the one that inspired her to do manga and she is fulfilling that dream. She was upset when she found out my tablet wasn't working anymore and I tried everything to make it work again, she hired me to color the front covers of her books and when my tablet broke she was not allowing that she needed me. So for my Christmas/birthday present, she got me one. A nice bigger tablet.
I can't tell you how full of joy I was when I got it and manage to get a better laptop for free, it's another used laptop but it works better than that other one I had and I don't want to use my little sister laptop again for a reason.
I was all over on it, I name him Steve. Got back into drawing and felt life coming back again, but instead doing Flower in the Dust I want to do something else as a test trial and make it a short story and decided to do a story that I did when I was 14 years old, Sweet and Sour. So that's what I'm doing, I have re-wrote the story and am now doing it and doing this blog along the way. And when my sister got me an animation studio software I'm now doing YouTube videos.
I'm fulfilling my dreams and have two kids now and don't feel depressed about it, I love my kids I'm so grateful for them in my life and for my husband who is trying to support in this too. He always tells me "go work on your story I'll clean up" or watch the girls and such, he is the love of my life.
I feel now I have to post a picture each time I do a blog post, this post was a little long but I hope it will inspire you to do your dreams.
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